WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE IN SUMMER, HMMM? Heatwave rules

Oh yes, summer is here, you’re starting to feel the heat, you’re starting to rummage in the wardrobe looking for your summer gear, you need to look good, you need a tan, are your teeth white. the list is endless.The women seem to have it all ready in 5 minutes, they snap effortlessly into hot-weather mode, shorts, summer dresses, tans, white teeth, and strappy shoes, and some of you poor guys flounder, do you wear shorts, chinos, linen suits, unstructured jackets, and even polo shirts. So what is acceptable and what is a fashion mistake when the temperature pushes into meltdown weather.


So the good news is, yes you can wear shorts, as long as they are tailored, a decent length, straight legged, made of cotton and stick to one colour, That guys is the rules.

Think about linen when you wear it, if you’re under 30 you might look like you’re auditioning for a movie, over 30, like an alcoholic wreck from an old fashion play. Nothing flared, it’s just too hot, nothing sprayed on, you’ll burn like a chipolata, lycra, lord just don’t. Ever.

Well, a neat segue from the subsequent rule, this. Please keep your contours and your torso to yourself and to the imagination in the heat, no-one really wants to see an undressed, sweaty hulk wandering around. Take it off at the beach, poolside, back garden, and maybe the park, on a blanket. No more and no less.

Don’t end up looking like the man ad from America, in baggy shorts, socks with your sliders and like an overgrown toddler, topless. So never take your shirt off in public unless you’re lying horizontal.

Get a good hat, especially if you’re bald, or have thin hair and….. Put on. Bloody. Sun Cream. Nothing worse than a burning, stinging prickly feeling, and is it normal to be walking around looking like an undercooked salmon. So sort it out, no-one wants to go out with a singed on a date. Lastly, get some decent shades. Cheap sunglasses that don’t go with your look will make your outfit look cheap as hell inturn.

Oh, flip-flops still aren’t acceptable, unless you’re on a beach.