Proposing marriage is a huge commitment. Ideally, the bond of matrimony should be a forever thing; therefore, a marriage proposal has the potential to change your life. Considering the gravity posited by the prospect of marriage, there are a few things every man should do before proposing. Here are the top six things to think about before you pop the question to your beloved.
Talk to People You Trust
When you know you’re ready for marriage, you know. However, it never hurts to talk it over with people you love and trust before asking for your beloved’s hand in marriage. If you’ve been thinking about popping the question, talking it over with loved ones can help you have more confidence in asking. It can also clarify and confirm that yes, this is definitely the person you want to share your entire future with.
Furthermore, you can talk to your partner’s friends or family to get a clearer idea about this commitment and all it entails. You may be surprised how illuminating this can be. Your beloved’s friends and family might also help you choose a way to propose or what kind of engagement ring to purchase.
For instance, your partner’s mom or best friend might tell you that pear shaped engagement rings are exactly what your paramour has been drooling over at the jewelry case. You might also discover that a quiet country wedding is the only way to go for your partner. Just getting more insight from friends and family can be incredibly informative and also stress-reducing.
Make Sure Your Finances Are In Order
According to certified divorce analyst surveys, over 20% of all marriages fail because of money problems. That’s why it’s a good idea to get your finances organized before proposing. After all, what kind of wedded bliss can you anticipate if you bring thousands of dollars of debt into the marriage from day-one?
Before you propose, start resolving debt. If you have investments, make sure these are all on the up-and-up. You may also want to make arrangements to get your last will and testament updated. Additionally, if you own your own business, assess your taxes, assets and capital so that everything is neat and tidy before tying the knot.
Get a Health Check
Getting a solid reading on your health is just as important as organizing your finances before proposing. It might be an unromantic prospect to get a health check before marrying, but it can save a lot of strain on your “happily ever after.”
Get a standard physical check up to ensure there are no glaring health problems. If there are health issues that arise after a checkup, that’s certainly not good news, but at least you are better equipped to take action before compromising matrimonial harmony. At the very least, you might discover you have high blood pressure or cholesterol, which is something you might want to work on before popping the question.
This might sound like an old-fashioned action before getting married, but asking permission to marry from your partner’s family might be something to consider before proposing.
Granted, every situation is different. Your mate’s family might be estranged, or family relations might be wrought with complications and touchy situations. If that’s the case, the very least you can do is seek out your partner’s best friend and seek permission to marry. Yes, this is old-school. However, it is a sign of respect for your partner and also shows respect for his or her friends and family.
Consider Living Arrangements
If you are already living with your beloved, then you probably have a clear understanding of how cohabitation can have an impact on a relationship. However, if you and your partner are living separately, it might be a good idea to think about living arrangements. Before proposing, assess each of your independent living situations. Try to make a plan to accommodate both of your needs while living together after the marriage.
For instance, if you demand private time, then couch that into your long-term plans with your partner. Also consider how you both prefer to live. If you could care less about housekeeping but your partner is a neat freak – that’s something to prepare for to avoid potential arguments when you both are betrothed and living together.
What’s more, you may also need to consider where you two will live together. To explain, if you have a place and your partner has an established residence as well, which one will you live in? Or, you might want to purchase an entirely new home together. This is a natural conversation every healthy couple should have when planning for the future.
Get Clear About Kids
In the past, newlyweds were expected to have kids, and having children after marriage was common. Today, with demanding careers, hectic work schedules and different priorities, more couples are making a conscious choice not to have kids. In fact, nearly 57% of households today are childless by choice according to a census study by Reuters. Therefore, if you haven’t already had an open discussion with your partner about kids, do it before you propose.
In many cases, misunderstandings about children in the marriage can lead to painful breakups. You may think you know what your partner wants, but if you don’t have an honest discussion, you’re operating under an assumption. Conversely, your partner might be aware that you don’t want to have kids – but that doesn’t mean he or she has given up on the idea of children. Save both you and your partner pain and confusion by getting this important detail on the table and clearly understood before proposing.
The Last Word on Preparing Before You Propose
We understand that all men are different, and not every relationship looks the same. However, these top tips are a good start to being better prepared for the future with your paramour. When you take the time to prepare for your best life with “the one”, it puts you both in a better position to enjoy married life more freely and happily together. In the final analysis, your situation is unique. These are just a few ideas to help you get better equipped to live, love and enjoy your marriage for many years to come.